I wanted to do something in memory of our loss(es) last year. I thought about planting some sort of tree, but could never decide on what type or where to plant it. Also, I wanted instant gratification so to speak. Since it was finally something I had control over, I wanted something that was pretty right away. No patience needed, for once. So, I planted some tulips in a couple different spots.

When I noticed the first one starting to bloom this year I had a mixed reaction. I thought back to the day I planted them, and what a sad place I was in at the time, and for a long time after. It made me count the months, and realize how old our baby would be. I wondered what she might have been like, or looked like. It made me think of all the amazing, strong women I know who are in that place right now, and how much I wish they never had to know that feeling. At the same time, I thought about how much had changed, finally, in the year that had passed.

So while tears were falling down my face,  I smiled.

Every life leaves something beautiful behind.

This ornament hangs on our tree in memory of our babies we lost earlier this year. While I wish I didn't have this ornament on my tree, in a strange way it is now one of my favorites.

I hope with everything in me, that next year I can place a Baby's First Christmas ornament close by.

If anyone is interested, this is the "Always Remembered" from Hallmark. It does list the year at the top of the ribbon.

Today is my due date.

Technically, I guess I should say it was my due date.

“And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.”

I am the face.

Every single day in the US, 2,000 women lose a baby to pregnancy/infant loss.

In honor of October 15th, National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I AM THE FACE is opening up the conversation and “putting a face” on miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss.

The goal of the I AM THE FACE campaign is simple: to spread awareness of pregnancy/infant loss, and raise support for those who are affected by it.

Check out the site. And, if you are one of the faces of loss, upload your photo. I did.