Anyday?

This has been a hard week. In addition to being on another forced break due to my cyst, I've just been down. I can't really sleep at night anymore. I feel like I am retreating backward, instead of moving forward.

While I usually love getting all my fall decorations out and seeing everything fall related in the stores, it's different this year. October, my due date month, is now within reach. It seemed so far away this summer, but now it is approaching too quickly. While out with my mom yesterday I saw a "Baby's First Halloween" onesie and I recoiled. I had a painful vision of what it was supposed to be like. I should have been purchasing it, not running in the other direction.

I know I have mentioned, (& mentioned, & mentioned) my love of Roseanne. I spent many days in bed after my loss, watching season after season. It helped pass the time and get me through when my bedroom walls were my only views. Today, I watched the very last episode. I guess I thought I would be in a better place by the time it was over.

I'm tired of the rain falling. I'm ready for some sun.