Why Born in a Barn?

Well, we live in one. Kinda. Want the extended version? Click here.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I have news!

MY LEVELS DROPPED! It is now at 10. I know I shouldn't get that excited because of how things have gone in the past, but this is the first drop in 2.5 weeks. (They previously stayed at 17, then upped to 18)

Please, please be negative next week.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Mom knows best

My mom has this saying that she pulls out from time to time. "Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying." When I was younger I rolled my eyes and questioned how that made any sense. As I have gotten older, I have come to realize how true it is. Lately, I have been thinking about that a lot. Granted, I cry too much enough as it is, but sometimes laughing is the approriate reaction.

Yesterday I told my husband we should go out and get a lottery ticket. Why? Because a couple months ago he said that things could only go up from where we were. "As least they can't get worse," he said. (I know, I know. Worst thing to say, ever!) But, things got worse. So, they can only go up from here. Our luck has to change. Hence, the reason I thought we should buy a lottery ticket.

My husband's response? Laughter. Nothing but laughter. Followed by me cracking up.

Sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying.

Friday, June 25, 2010


D&C #2 was yesterday. The first thing I said when I woke up was, "Why does this hurt soo bad?"
The pain is worse than last time, and so is the constant feeling of having to lean over a toilet.

I'm sure we were quite the sight when me, dh, & both dogs were hanging out in the bathroom yesterday. I couldn't help but laugh though, because I imagine my big pup was wondering why momma was so focused on his big waterbowl that he gets in trouble for drinking out of.

On a positive note, my recovery room nurse was truly amazing. More to come on her later.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


"Infertility is what I do. It's my vocation: I don't get pregnant, or I don't stay pregnant. I'm good at it. I've been more successful at it than at anything else I've tried as an adult."

-Linda Carbone, A Little Pregnant

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Good news? No. What's that?

Hcg was at 18 yesterday. It had been a standstill at 17 for the last 2 Thursdays. Since it is so low,
but won't drop, they want to do a d&c to make sure there isn't any tissue leftover.

Will this ever end?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Time, why you punish me?

Beta is still at 17. That was the number last Thursday. Repeat b/w on Monday. If it's not dropping I will most likely have to get another methotrexate injection. F'ing great, right?

Recap, anyone?

May 7th-pregnant
May 9th-Just kidding, it's not a viable pregnancy
--levels dropping--
May 27th-Beta rising. Methotrexate injection
--levels dropping--Yay!
June 17-Level at a standstill

How much longer is this going to take? I don't think my sanity (if I am still considered sane) can handle this much longer.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Slowly but surely

Beta is still dropping. ::another sigh of relief::

Of course it's taking its sweet ass time. Hurrrry up. Pretty please?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

3 years ago today,

I married the man of my dreams. A day rarely goes by that I don't wonder how in the hell I got so lucky.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Little bit of good news

Beta dropped! Now I don't need to worry about surgery or another methotrexate injection. ::sigh of relief:: Hopefully it is almost, if not already, negative by next week. Don't worry, I'm not getting my hopes up or anything.

Just so you know, it's really depressing to unpack all your stuff for a vacation that never occured. I am attempting to remind myself that I now have something to look forward to, the vacation in July. I know it's soo wrong to wish any part of the summer away, but I can't help but do so. Hurry up mid July! Plus, every day that goes by is also one step closer to ttc again. Geez, I need a life.