Why Born in a Barn?

Well, we live in one. Kinda. Want the extended version? Click here.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

::insert random comment here::

Wanna play a game? We can call it "Stupid things otherwise smart people say when someone announces a pregnancy." We are offically "out" and have heard a few nosy questions.

Well, you are getting to that age.

Was this a surprise? No. So, was it planned?

I hope you have twins.

Is it twins? Are you sure it's not twins? Are you positive you aren't having twins? Twins next time then.

There must be something in the water. (Or the menopur, is what goes through my head when someone says this.)

Well how long you have you known?

When did you find out?

Ohhhhhhhh, you are going to be pregnant during the hot summer months.

But a comment like the following cancels all the stupid out:
Your baby is so lucky to have you as parents.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Rain falls, but you also get some sun.

The other morning I started crying, just randomly crying. Don't get me wrong, I am no stranger to tears, but these were different.

Happy tears.

Friday, February 18, 2011

I believe it!!

Finally. I may be a little late to this party, but I finally believe I am pregnant. Finally.

Measurements were encouraging yesterday, and nasal bone was present. No flipping us off this time, but still cute.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

No megaphone needed.

I thought once we got far enough along to announce our pregnancy that I would be ready to shout it from the rooftops. Over the past couple weeks I have come to realize that I feel the complete opposite. We told my parents when I was around 5 weeks, and I told my best friend, who knew of our struggles, in January. So, since they know, there is no one that I am itching to tell. Recently we have had friends announce their pregnancies, all who are weeks behind me, and we still sit silent with our news.

We decided that if all goes well at our NT scan (tomorrow!) we will tell my husband's family on Sunday, and then begin to tell other family & friends. Instead of getting that excited feeling when I think about sharing news we have waited two years for, I get extremely nervous. I can only seem to think about all the ignorant comments & questions we may receive. "Well, what took you guys so long?" "Why did you wait so long to tell us, were you not excited?" "Was it planned?" "It's about time."

My husband thinks we should be honest with them, and without going into specific details, let them know it wasn't easy. You know, to make them feel stupid if they make such comments. (Which, by the way, is something I am a big fan of doing, but not usually something my husband would suggest.) I don't want to hide our infertility. I am not ashamed of it, but I currently just don't think it is anyone's business. I hope that as I am farther along, I will drop my guard and share more.

Or, I could always just go with my original idea of putting our baby in this onesie the first time my in-laws babysit.

I am totally buying this. You can find it here.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I'm that girl.

The girl people avoid mentioning other's pregnancies to. I didn't think I would be that girl since only a handful of people in daily life knew our struggles. I am still that girl even though I am currently pregnant. Even my husband thinks I am that girl.

I first realized my that girl status when I found out my cousin's girlfriend was pregnant via fb a few months ago. When I mentioned it to my mom I could instantly tell by the look on her face she intentially didn't tell me, even though she sputtered out an "I thought I told you that" excuse. The whole family knew, minus me & my husband of course.

The other week? My husband says he has something to tell me that I probably won't be happy about. He followed that up with avoiding the actual news, & stalling. I was literally almost in tears at this point, so worried for what he was about to tell me.

The news? Friends are pregnant. On accident. Yes, I felt jealousy. I mean, people can get pregnant from just having sex? Sex while on bcp. Can I admit that I was a little sad? Sad that I will never know what it is like to be able to just get pregnant "like that". I was also sad for all my friends, who have been through so much and are still waiting for their baby. As much I am aware that life isn't fair, it still sucks to be reminded.
So, yeah, I'm that girl. I'll probably always be that girl, or that girl will always be in me somewhere.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


I had my first ob appointment yessterday. I was nervous (shocking, I know) for a few reasons. For one, when am I not? Also, the husband was not going to be with me. So, my thoughts go to something being wrong, and I will be alone to get the news. Also, I had a nightmare a couple weeks ago that they couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler.

Guess what? She couldn't find the heartbeat. She told me before she tried that she usually doesn't even attempt this early because it can cause extra worry until the next appointment. I love my dr., because she ordered an u/s to ease my mind. So, I waited with the thoughts of my freakin nightmare going through my mind.

I got to have my first ever belly ultrasound. Goodbye dildocam! Tears may have fallen when I saw our babe kicking and rolling on the screen, heart beating away like crazy. It took her a minute to be able to get the heartrate (162) because s/he wouldn't be still for a second. Bonus, I got to see the u/s on a big screen. So, may I introduce you to our babe at 10.5 weeks:
I just noticed it looks like babe is giving us all the finger for disturbing him. Just when I thought I couldn't love the photo any more, he shows a personality trait from me.