Surprise, surprise.

Or not. I am on another break cycle. Story of my f'in life. Apparently, it is protocol at my RE's office to take a cycle off after injectibles, due to your ovaries being over-stimulated. Hmm, would have been nice to know this before hand! I didn't update right away because I needed time for my pity party. Actually, it was a full out breakdown. It seemed that everything hit me at once. My due date, always being on a freakin break, hitting our 2 yr mark in December, the fact that in 23 months we have only had 2 injectible cycles...

::Sigh::

The only good news out of all this, is the fact that I convinced the nurse to put me on bcp so I didn't have to wait until day 35, take provera, and then run the risk that I would most likely have cysts after that.

Past cycle was a bust. Today is cd 2, so I should find out tomorrow if any cysts are back to haunt me. I had a pity party for myself this weekend, and now I am ready to move on to more needle pokes. As ready as I can be.

If I am on another forced break, my blog will be filled with lots of expletives. You have been warned.

Confession

I am afraid to buy pregnancy tests.  I mean, I don't have the best track record when it comes to trying to avoid seeing people I know. (If you need reminding, there was the close encounter with mother-in-law after my IUI & near run-in #2 with mother-in-law plus grandparents, just to name a couple.)

I feel like alarms are going to go off announcing my purchase. Maybe something to the effect of "Infertile alert, infertile alert. Everyone look at the infertile buying hpts in aisle 4."

So, I decided to suck it up and do the obvious, mature thing. I ordered them online.

Today is my due date.

Technically, I guess I should say it was my due date.

“And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.”

Is it y'all or ya'll?

I don't know. I don't use this word. I know, some of you are probably surprised since I live in a "barn" and all. :) My sign made me question this. Any southern gals want to help me out?

Trigger & worry

After 14 days of injections, (I think that is 21 vials of menopur) I triggered this morning.

I have to admit, I am not feeling good about this cycle. I hate to already say that, but it is the truth. The reason? I think my follies were too big. At my last follie check last week, the biggest two were only at 13. Today? 23 & 24.

No other measurable follies.

I wish I had more confidence, but all I can think is it is too late.

Slowly

but surely. That's me. I am such a slow responder. But, it's not surprising with my diagnosis. So, I'm still here, but just playing the waiting game. Still stabbing myself nightly. I'll take slow over no response or another forced break.