Why Born in a Barn?

Well, we live in one. Kinda. Want the extended version? Click here.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I wanted to do something in memory of our loss(es) last year. I thought about planting some sort of tree, but could never decide on what type or where to plant it. Also, I wanted instant gratification so to speak. Since it was finally something I had control over, I wanted something that was pretty right away. No patience needed, for once. So, I planted some tulips in a couple different spots.

When I noticed the first one starting to bloom this year I had a mixed reaction. I thought back to the day I planted them, and what a sad place I was in at the time, and for a long time after. It made me count the months, and realize how old our baby would be. I wondered what she might have been like, or looked like. It made me think of all the amazing, strong women I know who are in that place right now, and how much I wish they never had to know that feeling. At the same time, I thought about how much had changed, finally, in the year that had passed.

So while tears were falling down my face,  I smiled.


  1. Life has indeed change and for the best. The tulips are gorgeous and so will be baby Z :)

  2. So much as happened in the past year.... what a great idea :) The tulips are beautiful!

  3. Tulips are my favorite flower. They are beautiful. *hugs*

  4. I did the same thing last year. When I came home from having my boys I noticed that all flowers are blooming. I just cried a little as I walked in my house. Life has changed and maybe the past will never be forgotten, but oh what a change. This new place is so much worth the struggle... Hell my new struggle is so much worth it...
    huge hugs....