This can't really be happening. I just want to wake up from this bad dream. Infertility was the unlucky hand we were dealt. I don't want to add loss.
Nothing seems real. Yesterday before we went into our appointment, I was shaking. Literally. I was so nervous. I had a nagging feeling since our last appointment that something wasn't right. The fact that I could have a baby in October didn't seem real. Nothing seems real.
I have to have surgery on Monday. To remove my baby. I guess it doesn't get any more real than that.