I hope I snag some snazzy 2011 glasses.

Dear 2010,
Where do I begin?  In short, you sucked. 2010 was filled with more heartache than ever. I feel like I spent a vast majority of the year in my bed & avoiding people and life.

Of course, there were high points. I think it is pretty obvious that my recent bfp is at the top of that list. Also, I took an amazing, kickass, dream vacation with my husband.

But, I still say good riddance to you, 2010. Hello, 2011. I'm counting on you.

Love, Won't miss you,
Amber

**Dear Readers of my blog, Friends,
I hope 2011 brings all you wish & hope for. Thank you for being a bright spot in my past year.**

1st ultrasound

We saw one babe in my uterus. Yay, for no ectopic! By my calculations I was 5 weeks, 3 days yesterday. I was measuring 5 weeks, 1 day. Close enough that I am not worried there. We saw the gestational & yolk sac, which is all we should be able to see so early.
My next appointment isn't until January 17th, since they like for the RE to be present, and that will be the next time he is in town. If all goes ok then, I will graduate from my RE!! Since we waitied an hour over our appointment time yesterday, I will not be sad about moving on.

::Exhale::

I have been on the verge of an anxiety attack all day, waiting to hear my last beta update. My husband kept trying to remind me that all the other betas had been good, and I had no reason to expect bad. But, hello, has he never met me? I told him Christmas would be cancelled for us if we got bad news.

Finally, the call. Beta #4 is 1,971. First u/s is on Monday. ::massive sigh of relief:: I am still shaking and on the verge of tears, but for good things this time.

Another shout out to all of you for your amazing support. Seriously. Speechless.

Beta # 3

533.  And only one needle poke today!
Another draw on Thursday, and then an u/s should be scheduled.

Still nervous, still cautious, still pregnant!

How will I explain this bruise?

Lots of needle pokes, a blown vein in my hand, and having to leave the RE office & go to another lab to finally get my blood drawn: all worth it. Beta #2 is 206!!

I know I am not in the clear yet. I have seen great first & second betas followed by a loss. ::points to self:: I will continue having my levels checked until it reaches 2,000. Then an ultrasound will be scheduled.

Thank you again for all your good thoughts. When I started this blog I never thought I would have followers. All your comments & support mean so, so much!

Every life leaves something beautiful behind.

This ornament hangs on our tree in memory of our babies we lost earlier this year. While I wish I didn't have this ornament on my tree, in a strange way it is now one of my favorites.

I hope with everything in me, that next year I can place a Baby's First Christmas ornament close by.

If anyone is interested, this is the "Always Remembered" from Hallmark. It does list the year at the top of the ribbon.

Beta #1

At 12 days past iui, my hcg is 93 and my progesterone is 50. Repeat on Friday.

 ::Deep breaths::

Thank you all for the positive thoughts. You guys rock!

Ecstatic & Scared

I'm off for beta #1. More to come later.

Unpopular Opinion

I'm kinda over acupuncture. I mean, it's not like I dread it, but I no longer look forward to going. Considering I have only gone five times, I thought I would be loving it. I had my best response this cycle, so I will continue going if this IUI didn't work. Maybe it's because I feel like acupuncture is yet another thing on a long list of what I have to do in this whole process?

p.s. Needles in the bottom of your foot? They effin hurt.

Cheater, cheater part 2?

I scheduled a phone consult with a new RE. Sometimes I feel like I am doctor jumping, but then I remind myself how important this is and that I should not settle. It felt a little less like cheating this time.

I could share all the reasons we decided to switch RE's, but I won't bore you with the long list. I'll give just one instead. We know IVF is around our corner if this cycle is a bust. Our RE has three offices in different cities, and ours is not his "home base". There is no way I would feel comfortable doing ivf there. While in the office last week I listened to a conversation between the embryologist & nurse. The embryologist was asking the nurse what day all the transfers would be on that week. To hell with what is best for the patient, I guess it all depends on the doctor's schedule!?

I emailed this new RE with multiple questions and he replied back within less than 24 hours! Hell, I can't even get the nurses at my office to call me back and I am an actual paying patient! Also, I will be seeing the doctor for all of my monitoring appointments. This is crazy to me, since I have only seen my current RE once. He also comes highly recommended and I have yet to find any bad reviews, despite much google searching & blog findings of his patients. The 3 hour drive will be worth it for my health (& sanity)!

Of course, I am hoping I can cancel this appointment in the next couple weeks.

I decided to do it in the butt.

The trigger shot, people! (I apologize to anyone that came here via a google search expecting to find something more exciting. You probably want to head on back to your other results.)

This was actually the first cycle I had to give myself an IM shot. With the old RE it was ovidrel in the stomach. Last cycle the nurse did my shot. So, this was a first for us. I had the choice to inject it myself in the thigh, or have someone else give it to me in the butt. After discussing it with some other girls, I decided I should go the butt route. I was a little worried for my husband to do it, seeing as he almost passes out when I have medical procedures done. (Need a refresher, or a laugh at his expense? I just realized I never told another one of his "almost passing out" stories. Oh well, back to the original reason for this post.)

I'm happy to report he didn't pass out.

And I didn't feel a thing. Wonder how many people can say that about their first time in the butt with their husband? He got a kiss & high five after.

p.s. get your mind out of the gutter!