From over the moon to in a dark hole.

I have typed & deleted more than I care to admit. I don't know how to put this into words, or where to even begin.

I had bloodwork on Friday to see if I could start provera, so we could begin another IUI with injectibles cycle. I got the shock of my life when the nurse called & told me I was pregnant. Beta was 146. I got off the phone and couldn't say anything expect WTF? My husband's reaction was pretty much the exact same.

I went back for repeat bloodwork today. Today's was 104. Yep, it's dropping. Over before it really began.

Over. Again.

I am numb. I think I have lost all hope. What little hope was remaining.